This Heart
by skeleton-leaf
Summary: Where did he go, she wondered, when he stood beside but wasn't there?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay guys, a new story. This is an idea that has **_**literally **_**only just popped into my head, so I'm penning the first chapter to see how it's received. Please let me know what you think, if it's worth continuing I'll leave it up, if not I'll take it down.**

**Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Gilmore Girls.**

Rory tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove through Hartford. She was tired, she had period cramps and to cap it all off, she was far more irritated than she should have been. The last place she wanted to go was a party being thrown by her grandparents.

She pulled sharply into the driveway. She had planned the drive from Yale so she'd be early and have a chance to change. She was meeting Lorelai inside.

The latest maid opened the door for her, letting her know her grandmother was directing the final touches for the party which was being held outside to celebrate the late days of spring.

"Yeah, yeah" Rory muttered as she made her way upstairs. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly and deeply though her nose, she knew she was being an irritable bitch but it seemed to come so easily the past few weeks.

Lorelai was in Rory's bedroom, waiting for her.

"Hey kiddo" She greeted her daughter.

"Whatever" Rory muttered, dropping the bag that held her dress, on the bed.

Lorelai cocked an eyebrow but her face changed to concern as Rory's lip started to quiver.

"Are you okay?" she asked, hurrying over to hug her.

Rory pulled away from the embrace,

"I'm fine mom…I'm just a bit cranky, I'm sorry"

Lorelai raised an eyebrow again.

"Okay, well…what're you wearing?"

Rory pulled the dress she hurriedly bought that afternoon, out of the bag. It was very plain but she didn't care, it's fitted.

"It's beautiful" Lorelai said, trailing the champagne coloured silk through her fingers as Rory fixed her hair.

"Thank you"

The dress was fine in Rory's opinion, she'd hardly be a knockout in it, but it was a backyard party so what did it really matter? By the time she finished getting ready, most of the guests had already arrived and Lorelai had long since gone downstairs. Rory's phone was vibrating noisily on the bed, it was Lorelai, telling her to get her butt down there soon to prevent Lorelai from completely snapping, and besides, Louise had arrived.

Rory smiled at the thought of seeing Louise, they had been so close in high school, the gossip queen turning out to be an intuitive and eternally loyal friend. Going to different colleges they didn't get to see as much of each other though.

Slicking on a merlot coloured lipstick, Rory hurried downstairs and into the party. It was crowded and surprisingly the warm day had lasted into the evening. Rory helped herself to a glass of champagne, hiding it from Emily when she waved to her grandmother. She finally caught sight of Louise in forest green, across the party. They two caught each other's eyes and Rory hurried across to where her friend stood.

Louise threw her arms around Rory dramatically, taking the chance to whisper in her ear.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah" Rory whispered back, "Fine"

Louise pulled back and stared into Rory's eyes.

"It's ok not to be fine you know"

Rory glanced down at the ground before replying.

"I know"

"It was a nasty break up" Louise continued softly.

"What break up isn't?" Rory asked brightly, taking a sip from her champagne.

Louise chewed on her lip in thought, surveying her friend. She knew Rory wasn't telling the whole truth.

"You know you two are going to work this out, right?" She asked softly and Rory smiled.

"I know we will, it'll all be back to normal in no time"

And she believed that, she _knew _they'd sort it out, that he'd stop being so vacant.

_Where do you go? _She wondered, for the millionth time, it felt. _Where do you go when you're standing beside me but you're not there?_

It had been two months, and that seemed to be the expected grieving period. It was only those closest to her who still asked, still worried. She was glad of that at least, she was sick of pitying looks, and offers of dinner and copious drinks. She just wanted to be left alone, was that too much to ask?

She finished her glass of champagne and asked for another as she and Louise talked of inconsequential things and shared memories. Emily wandered over to them and exchanged pleasantries.

"Annalise and Lincoln are here Rory, you _will _say hello won't you?"

Rory paled at the mention of the couple and Louise nearly choked on her drink.

"Of course Grandma" Rory replied, more tersely than she'd like to had sounded.

"Excellent, you can't very well ignore them"

"No Grandma" Rory defiantly took another sip of her champagne and turned to Louise. "Let's get this over with shall we?"

She made her way, with Louise in tow, towards she the couple she had thought would one day be her parents-in-law.

Annalise smiled sadly when she saw the girl who she had always thought would one-day be her daughter-in-law, walk towards them.

"Rory," She greeted as warmly as she would allow herself. "And Louise, I haven't seen you since last year!"

"Annalise, it's lovely to see you again" Rory replied.

"Yes, I know we said we'd still see each other but it's…"

"Difficult" Rory supplied, her voice dripping with irony.

"Yes"

"Lovely to see you Rory, you look stunning," Lincoln told her, kissing her cool, pale cheek.

"You're getting too think" Annalise added with a slightly mothering tone. "Don't forget with all those classes that you still need to eat"

Rory smiled graciously and took a long sip of her champagne, this was _awful. _She should have guessed it was about to get worse.

"Mom! Dad!"

Four heads turned to where the voice was coming from and Rory paled. She honestly hadn't thought he'd come. Louise's hand crept to wrap around hers and squeeze it reassuringly.

He had reached the group before he realized who his parent's were talking to. He'd hoped she would have gotten out of this party, given the excuse of class or the newspaper. He knew somewhere that she wouldn't, that she would be here. He'd hoped at least not to find her with his parents.

He kissed his mother's cheek before turning his attention to her. She looked lovely, but thin…and pale, especially in the dress that was the same colour as her drink, it washed her out.

"Rory"

She met his gaze fiercely.

"Tristan"

"It's good to see you"

"A pleasure and an honour" She muttered before smiling brightly, the show _must _go on. "Lovely to see you too"

Louise, ever the best friend came to the rescue.

"Rory have you even seen your mom yet? She's over there jumping up and down and waving"

Rory smiled apologetically at the DuGrey's and bade her farewells, Louise following her and shooting a dirty look at Tristan.

It was later in the evening that she caught his eye, his gaze had always had that effect on her, she could feel it like a weight upon her. She was talking to Paris when she felt that familiar heaviness and trailed off, mid-speech to look at him. Without thinking, half mad with the lack of sleep of the past two months, her lips curved into a smile reserved only for him.

Her lips were soft and sweet, curled only for him but that smile faltered when she realized that he wasn't meeting her eyes, wasn't even looking at her. Slowly, her body feeling with dread, she turned to where he was staring at something behind her.

Like something out of a movie the crowd seemed to part and from them emerged a creature like nothing Rory had ever seen, in shimmering a shade of yellow nobody had ever worn before, her long dark curls fanning a face that no photographer could properly capture. Swept aside by something she couldn't name, Rory could only watch, helplessly at the scene that held the whole party captured.

In the background she could hear voices, she could even hear her name being mentioned as she watched Tristan and the mystery woman approach each other. He didn't kiss her, no, that would've been tacky, especially given the setting, but the way he touched her arm as though she might break, belied an intimacy that no other gesture could have.

The creature's name was Serena, Rory found out when she introduced herself. It was expected of her, people would talk otherwise, of how her heart had been broken so publicly, and beside, she had Louise beside her.

"And how long have you and Tristan been seeing each other?" Rory asked as Tristan strode toward them.

"We've been together for three months" Serena said, through her beautiful Spanish accent.

Louise choked, for the second time that night, on her champagne. Rory's smile tightened.

"Serena," Tristan greeted her as he arrived by her side. "I see you've met Rory,"

Serena smiled at him.

"Yes"

"Yes, she did Tristan," Rory said sweetly. "She was just telling me how long you two have been seeing each other"

Tristan paled.

"Rory," he breathed in the way one does when about to make an apology.

"Fuck you" Rory said calmly, society heads turning when they heard.

"Rory"

"No, fuck you Tristan"

She waited until she got inside and had called for a cab, to let the tears come. She could hear them all behind her; her mother, her grandparents, Louise, Tristan. They all exploded into the foyer where she was pulling on her jacket.

"Babe!" Lorelai called out.

"I'm going home mom"

"I'll drive you"

"I'd rather take a cab"

"Rory," Tristan was trying to say but Richard turned on him.

"You!" Richard began, "Are no longer welcome in my house!"

Louise was nodding vehemently and Rory had to fight urge to laugh at the dramatic scene.

"With all due respect Mr. Gilmore, I'm trying to talk to your grand-daughter"

Rory felt Louise grasp her hand and then felt herself being pulled out of the house. The cab was outside waiting and the two girls jumped in, speeding away from the party and the unfolding dramas with Rory's head on Louise's shoulder as she cried for the first time since the break-up.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Ok so everyone seemed to like the first chapter. I'm really pleased about that and for now, I'll keep updating.**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own GG.**

**_This chapter is a flashback to their junior year at Chilton, the week after the infamous piano-bench kiss._**

---

Louise narrowed her eyes as she watched Rory from across the hallway. She'd been acting strangely for the past couple of days. She was standing at her locker, getting her books for her morning classes, but she was jumpy and nervous, her eyes darting around her every few seconds.

She jumped a mile when Louise leaned loudly against the locker next to hers and Louise cocked her eyebrow. She grabbed her friends arm, barely giving her the chance to close her locker door before she dragged her into an alcove between two banks of lockers.

"Ok Gilmore, spill, what's going on? You've been acting like a total nutcase all week"

Rory tried to shrug Louise off.

"Don't even try to deny it, you're jumpy and paranoid and you've been avoiding us all week"

Rory looked up and saw hurt in Louise's eyes. Louise was right though, she had been avoiding her friends. But she had to, they were always around Tristan and after the party, after the kiss…

She looked back up at Louise and shrugged.

"It's not you guys I just…I guess I'm still upset about the break up"

She was, in some ways, but Louise had a suspicion that wasn't the problem, a suspicion that was confirmed when she followed Rory's eyes to where Tristan DuGrey was striding down the hall.

Rory couldn't stop her eyes from being drawn to him, unconsciously she pressed back further into the alcove, willing him not to see her. She didn't notice Louise looking at her strangely before glancing to Tristan and then back at her.

Feeling eyes on him, feeling _her _eyes on him, Tristan looked around, finally seeing her leaning against a wall with Louise. Their eyes met but only for a second as she quickly looked down at the ground.

Louise's eyes widened.

"Oh my God…Rory _what _did you do?"

Rory's entire body felt as though it was flushing, betraying her.

"It wasn't supposed to happen I just…I went to find him after Summer broke it off with him so nastily and one thing led to another and we…"

"And you…?"

"We kissed" Rory hissed finally.

Louise squealed and clapped her hands in front of her.

"Oh my god! You and Tristan!"

Rory slapped her hand over Louise's mouth.

"Tristan and I nothing Louise, now be quiet!"

Louise nodded but grinned as soon as Rory removed her hand.

"I always knew he was in love you!"

Rory snorted.

"Please, we've known each other since elementary school, he's _not _interested in me"

Louise rolled her eyes as she followed Rory to class.

"Whatever" She muttered under her breath.

---

Rory followed Louise through the cafeteria, realising too late where she was being led to. Louise took her seat at the table, motioning for Rory to do the same. She faltered, standing near the head of the table, torn between running away or sitting down next to Tristan in the only available seat. For the past few days since the party she had managed to avoid awkward moments like these by hiding in the library at lunch.

"Come on Mary, sit your ass down, I don't bite"

She sat down abruptly and Louise laughed.

Madeline was filling them in on the aftermath of the party once her parents had gotten home and discovered a used condom on the lawn.

"I mean at least everyone was using protection, right?" Madeline was asking the group that consisted of herself, Louise, Rory, Tristan, Tudor (a friend of Tristan's) and a few guys from the basketball team.

"You've been avoiding me"

She felt a shiver run down her spine at his whispered statement. She glanced up at him but he was watching Tudor who was re-enacting his technique with a beer bong, she couldn't be sure he'd said a thing. Suddenly he turned and caught her eyes. Her eyes widened and she could feel a blush spreading.

"You _have _been avoiding me Mary," He said quietly.

"I…I just…"

"It's _fine. _We've been friends for a long time though and we don't need to go through this shit when something happens"

Rory smiled weakly at him and took a bite of her sandwich.

Not taking his eyes off her he announced to the group that he thought that weekend they all needed an outing.

"What about my family's lake house?" He asked "It'd be great this weekend, we'll take some food and have a cook-out there?"

Tudor, Louise and Madeline agreed enthusiastically.

"What about you Mary? Are you in?"

She swallowed the last of her sandwich and stood up as the bell rang.

"Sure" She replied simply, hurrying to class.

---

"Rory! They're here!" Lorelai called from the living room.

Tristan was picking her up last for their trip to the lake house, but she was still running around in a pair of pyjama pants.

"Okay mom!" She cried, pulling a pair of khaki shorts out of her drawers and wriggling into her white bathing suit. She pulled a purple tank top over the top, with a cardigan for that night and was scraping her hair into a ponytail as she kissed her mom good bye.

Tudor, Madeline and Louise were already in the car with Tristan and she had to climb over Louise who said she had a morbid fear of being in the middle, to get into the back seat.

"Ready?" Tristan asked impatiently as she settled herself.

"Can you give me 2 seconds?" She asked irritatedly, missing his smirk in the rear view.

Finally she was settled and he peeled out of the driveway.

Louise was running through a list of the supplies they had packed, including, apparently a bottle of coconut rum.

"That shit will kill you," Tristan told her front the front seat.

Rory instinctively looked up when she heard his voice and caught his eyes in the driveway mirror. They were so grey that day, steely and she felt herself grow warm looking into them. They narrowed in a smirk and she rolled her own.

Rory had never been to the lake house that the DuGrey's owned. She was surprised to see that rather than the palatial beach-side mansion she'd expected it was a quaint cottage spread over a perfectly manicured lawn that ran down to a small beach and jetty where a dinghy was moored. She smiled in delight at the pretty little house that had a gazebo where they could cook food.

Tristan busied himself on the porch when they first arrived, setting up a sound system while Louise and Madeline dipped their toes in the lake, shrieking at the icy water. Rory smiled again, slipping her flip flops off and sinking her toes into the lush grass as she padded across to a patch of lawn beneath a shady tree and spread out the blanket she'd brought. Leaving her bag on top of it she wandered over to ask Tudor if he needed any help.

She liked Tudor, there was just something about him, he was a loveable kind of guy. He grinned at her and handed her a bag of ice to use to fill the esky. He was never short of a story and had a way of telling stories that made anything interesting.

His latest girlfriend, a Hartford girl but not from Chilton, had just broken up with him.

"What happened?" Rory asked.

He laughed.

"We were lying in bed and we'd just…you know"

"Had sex?" Rory asked dryly.

He grinned and nodded.

"And I rolled over and said to her 'I feel like a paedophile every time we fuck"

Rory winced at the language he used and he smiled apologetically.

"Is she that young?" Rory asked, she'd never met the girl.

Tudor shook his head.

"Nah she's a senior, it's just that she's such an idiot"

Rory frowned.

"Well what did she say?"

He grinned at her again as he cut the sausages apart with a menacing looking hunting knife.

"She asked me why I felt like a paedophile, and I told it's because she's fucking stupid"

Rory closed her eyes and groaned.

"So she broke up with me," He finished, clearly affronted.

"Yeah, well…that's kind of to be expected Tudor" Rory told him.

He rolled his eyes.

"Oh well…I gained back the ten or so points that my IQ dropped knowing her".

Rory just shook her head and continued cramming cans of soda into the esky.

Soon Tristan had the sound system figured out and was blasting Jack Johnson down the lawn. Rory was settled under her tree with a book while Louise and Madeline were sunbaking in their bikinis.

She flushed as Tristan sat down next to her in his bright red board shorts and a wifebeater singlet. He offered her a drink.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Coconut rum and pineapple juice"

She made a face.

"Don't worry," He laughed, "It's just pineapple juice"

Still suspicious, she took a wary sip before smiling gently at him.

"So why aren't you out there sunning yourself?" He asked, looking her over in her cardigan and shorts.

Rory shrugged.

"I'm not like Louise," Rory said, without apology, watching as Louise pranced in the shallow water in a forest green bikini.

Tristan raised his eyebrow.

"Come on, you're sexy!" He exclaimed and she glared at him.

"See Tristan, it's comments like that that completely negate the times when you can be a really good guy. It's comments like that that are why I could never see you as boyfriend material"

"Jesus Christ Rory," He hissed, "lighten up, you're seventeen"

She stood up.

"Fine"

Angrily she wrenched off her singlet top and marched into the water, kicking at the tiny waves and glaring back at him while he laughed. He could such as ass.

---

"I still don't see why you didn't drop me off first" She said tightly, frustrated with Tristan.

It was nearly midnight and he had insisted on driving into Hartford to drop the others off and _then _back to Stars Hollow to drop Rory off, although it would've saved time and her temper, to just drop her off first.

Angrily he pulled into her driveway and jerked the car to a stop. When he looked over at her she was sitting rigidly in the seat, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Rory I wanted to talk to you"

"Don't you mean apologise?" She huffed and he sighed loudly.

"No"

She looked over at him in surprise.

"I'm not apologising for thinking you're sexy, you _are_. I just wanted to try and explain to you that you're wrong about me"

She raised and eyebrow but let him go on.

"You're right in some ways, I do see you as sexy, but I also see you as a friend. I don't just see you as a sex object, I…I care about you"

With those last words he lay his hand softly on her leg, not in a sleazy way but in a friendly, comforting way. Finally she looked up at him and met those eyes, those beautiful eyes that could make girls do whatever he wanted. And slowly, softly, she smiled at him.

**AN: So there you go, a bit of back story. Remember to R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thankyou to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GG**

**_Chapter 3._**

Rory was sitting on the floor of her bedroom with a bottle of coral-orange nail varnish, painting her toenails. In front of her was a book about changing media ownership laws in the Asian-Pacific which was the topic of one of her end of year papers, a big one, but she couldn't focus on it. All she could think about was the awful cab ride she'd had back to Yale with Louise the week before and the ringing of the phone. She wondered if she imagined it, the phone calls she always just missed. They never left a message, perhaps she was going mad.

He hadn't tried to contact her, not a word. She had expected him to, a phone call, a note hell even an email to apologise or explain. Didn't he owe her that? What had happened to them? Had he just gotten sick of her? He had always told her he never would.

_The night of their senior prom they danced together. Rory, looking around her, her eyes filled with wonder, turned back to Tristan._

"_You know we'll never be more young and beautiful than we are right now" She told him with a sense of finality, that that was that and now they were headed into a strange new world where life was something that rather than idling along as it had, began to race towards a definitive and fiery end._

_Tristan had smiled at her strangely, as though he didn't understand her. Then he had pulled her closer to him._

"_Silly girl…you'll never stop being young and beautiful…not to me"_

_She looked up at him, amazed, once more, at what she had been given and stepped up on her tip-toes to kiss him._

She blinked back tears and leaned against her bed. Paris had had little patience with her, she didn't understand the fine art of wallowing. Suddenly the door to the apartment burst open and Logan, Finn and Colin barrelled into her room.

She stared up at them blankly from her position on the floor in her wallowing clothes of a pair of track pants and a baggy tee shirt.

"No, no, no" Finn was muttering, "This just won't do love. It's a _beautiful _day outside…we should be in a dark, dank establishment drinking!"

Despite herself Rory smiled wanly and took Logan's proferred hand as Finn started flicking through her closet, throwing out a pair of jeans and a white, short-sleeved shirt she hadn't worn yet.

"Get changed Ace, we're taking you out"

"What if I say I don't feel like it?" She asked testily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Thankfully we've already thought of that," Colin replied, brandishing a roll of duct tape and a ball of twine.

"Yes, now we can do it the easy way or the hard way"

Rory groaned and chased them out of the room.

"Come on Ace, it's good for what ails you"

"Fine, fine, just get out of my room and let me change".

She followed the boys down to the bar where they took advantage of the weather to sit outside. It was a campus bar and Rory smiled at the sight of the raucous group at the next table who were trying to debate intelligent design versus creationism over many jugs of beer.

She sat down and raked her fingers through her long hair as the first round of drinks arrived.

"So I went to my grandmother's party on Friday," She said quietly before looking up at them and narrowing her eyes, "the party all of you refused to come with me to!"

"Now love, we had a very good excuse not to attend that fine event" Finn said, leaning back and readjusting his sunglasses. "Christ it's bright out here"

"A chemistry exam is a valid excuse Finn, strip poker with co-eds isn't"

"It is where I come from" Logan muttered and Rory shot him a glare.

She rang her fingertip around the edge of her glass.

"I saw Tristan there," She stared hard at the table, "with his new girlfriend…who, _apparently, _isn't as new as she should be"

Finally she looked up but none of the boys would meet her gaze, Colin was shifting in his seat looking particularly uncomfortable.

"Oh my god," She breathed, "you all _knew_"

Her voice was pained and accusatory and Logan had to grasp her arm to stop her from leaving.

"Ace…Ace calm down. You're right, we knew, but we only found out from people who were at the party. You know we would've told you otherwise"

Rory nodded miserably, knowing he was telling the truth.

"So that's why you came to get me today?"

"Well that and because we love you" Finn said simply, putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulder gently.

"So you guys really didn't know he'd met someone?" She asked, wanting to be certain, "Because it's alright if you did, I mean, you're _his _friends too"

"We _really _didn't know," Logan assured her.

"And if we did, we'd have kicked his ass," Finn added, "He might be our friend, but you're our friend too and that makes what's he done really shitty".

Colin cleared his throat and they all turned to him, he was blushing bright red.

"I uh…I sort of had a feeling that he might have been seeing someone"

Rory frowned.

"I didn't want to say anything, it was just something he said on the phone and I mean, this is Tristan DuGrey, I figured if it was anything it was just a rebound girl…I'm sorry Rory"

Rory shrugged.

"Hey it's fine Colin, we're all grown-ups here and it's not your job to play go-between, I shouldn't be troubling you guys with all this"

"You can trouble us anytime you like and on that note, drinks all around!" Finn cried.

---

They got shickered all together and it was nearly ten o'clock that night when Logan told Rory he'd walk her back to her dorm.

She was so glad she'd met the guys in her first year of Yale. Lorelai had been worried that having Tristan, Rory wouldn't make friends at college, but Rory had proved her wrong with the motley threesome she ended up with. Logan had sought her out in the _Yale Daily News _office and introduced himself, said an old friend had asked him to check up on "his girl". Rory had been frustrated and irritated until she realised that that "old friend" was Tristan, he and Logan had apparently known each other for quite awhile. And it was through Logan that she met Finn and Colin. She had been lucky that they had gotten on so well with Tristan and vice versa and they had been her saving grace through the break up.

"What are you thinking about?"

Rory jumped at Logan's voice.

"You" She replied honestly.

He smirked.

"Really?"

"Yes, and Finn, and Colin"

"Kinky"

She punched him lightly in the arm.

"Just how glad I am to have met you guys, especially after the last few months"

"It'll all work out," he told her quietly, this, talking about emotions and things, wasn't his forte, until it came to her. "He's a jackass, I know he's my friend but I can't understand him"

Rory smiled sadly.

"I'm serious Ace, you're beautiful and smart and witty"

"Maybe he just got tired of me" She whispered, looking down.

"Impossible" He replied with a certainty she found surprising.

They arrived at her apartment door and Rory thanked him for walking her home.

"Ace, I meant what I said on the way here," He assured her, "_I _think you're amazing"

Slowly he cupped his hand to her cheek and, feeling the warmth radiating from him, Rory turned her face into his palm, her lips grazing him and causing him to shiver. Feeling the shiver Rory pulled away.

"Logan…we've spoken about this"

He stared down at the ground and she reached out and took his hand in both of hers.

"I'm not ready for anything"

He looked up at her, his eyes full and wide.

"I know…and I've already told you that I'll wait as long as you need me to"

She nodded sadly.

"But you might be waiting longer than either of us knows and I still can't promise anything" She choked on the last words and he pulled her into him in a warm hug.

"That's ok with me" He whispered against her dark hair, "And in the meantime, I'm not going anywhere"

---

When Rory got inside she could hear the phone ringing. She swore in the darkness, not again, but by the time she had fumbled with the light switch the ringing had stopped. Or perhaps she had imagined it in the first place, wanted him to call so badly, she was hearing things.

Her frustrated gaze fell on the vase _he_ had given her, he had brought it back from Manilla two years before and presented it to her so lovingly. Wrapping her fingers around the cool neck of it she felt everything boiling up.

"You can't do this!" She screamed at the empty room and threw the vase at the closed door, bursting into regretful tears as it smashed, splintering the wood.

**AN: Don't forget to R&R!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I'm so pleased that people are liking this! All the reviews have been great.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GG**

* * *

**_Chapter 4._**

Despite the awe Rory felt at finding herself in a Broadway Theatre watching the Royal Shakespeare Company present King Lear, she couldn't help but be distracted from Sir Ian McKellan's monologue by the blond head two rows in front of her.

The school had announced the trip the week before, that they would be taken the entire junior class to see a production of King Lear, although as Brad pointed out that they were studying Romeo and Juliet. But it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience their teacher had insisted and Rory had skipped into the house that night with the permission slip for her mother to sign.

They had been brought to New York on a bus that morning and were staying at a hotel in the city overnight. She, Paris, Louise and Madeline had managed to score a room together. Once the production was over they were going to china town for dinner and they were all to go back to their rooms to write a 1500 word essay on the production and the concurrent themes between _King Lear _and _Romeo and Juliet_.

Rory floated out of the theatre, her arm linked with Louise's when she felt her phone vibrating in her coat pocket. She answered it surreptitiously, knowing it would be her mother.

"We just got out…It was amazing" Rory breathed as she followed the crocodile of students down the street and listened to the story her mother was telling her about the disaster they'd had at Luke's when a city patron had dared to use a cell phone. Rory laughed but paled when she heard her teacher's voice behind her.

"Miss Gilmore? I believe all students were warned about using cell phones"

Rory gulped.

"Uh mom…I've gotta go"

Guiltily she shut the phone and handed it over to the teacher who smiled triumphantly.

"You can get it back off me when we get back to Hartford"

Rory frowned and Louise stuck her tongue out at the teacher when her back was turned.

"Well, well, Mary getting trouble"

"Shut it Tristan" Rory snapped.

* * *

The school took them to a restaurant where they had made a booking and it was a couple of hours before they left, walking back to the hotel through the city streets.

"Damn it" Rory cursed as she fumbled through her coat pockets.

"What's up?" Louise asked.

"I left my wallet at the hotel"

"Does it matter?"

"I guess not…I was going to get a coffee though"

"I'll shout you"

Rory smiled at her friend.

"It's ok hon, I'll have one when I get back"

The crocodile snaked it's way back, stopping occasionally for lights to change or for people to window shop. Rory smiled as she watched Louise chatting to Tudor, she was completely in love with him not that she would admit it. It was nice, just walking through the city. She noticed an old record store as they passed it and lingered by the window, seeing an original vinyl recording of "The Bangles" that she knew her mother would love. She looked back up at the class group and saw they'd stopped at the next lights. She quickly ducked into the shop, only remembering once she had that she didn't have any money, no matter though, they were getting time to go shopping the next day before driving back. Couldn't take society kids to New York without letting them go to Hermes. She checked the price quickly and, thanking the man behind the counter and promising to be back the next morning, hurried back outside to the empty street.

She felt that awful rising tightening in her throat that comes with the birth of fear. She broke her rule not to run and jogged to the lights she'd seen them at but there was no sight of them. She stopped a man in a suit and asked if he'd seen a group of students but he looked at her like she was mad, shook her hand of his suit jacket and kept talking on his cell phone. Cell Phone! Why? Why did it have to be confiscated. A quick check of her pockets proved she didn't even have a quarter to call Louise with. She didn't even know the name of the hotel, how to get there, no money to get a cab. Miserably she glanced up and down the darkening street. Her sharp mind moved quickly, flickering over scenarios that although they began differently all ended up with Lorelai's grief of them finding Rory's body hacked to pieces in an alley way.

Her heart was pounding as she wandered the same quarter block of road. She could feel tears building up, the record store had since closed so she couldn't even ask to use their phone. She wheeled around again and came face to face with a man's chest. She felt someone grab hold of her arms and she started to scream.

"Hey, hey"

Finally she looked up into familiar silvery blue eyes.

"Tristan!" She cried, throwing her arms around his neck and bursting into tears against his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her.

"It's ok…shhh, hey it's ok Rory"

She nodded in his embrace, suddenly embarrassed about her outburst, dropping her arms to grip his shoulders she asked what he was doing there. He looked at her strangely.

"I was looking for you," He told her, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, it felt to him as though he had always been looking for her. "I noticed you were gone once we crossed the road and I came back for you".

She swallowed heavily and took a deep, wavering breath, looking around them.

"How long have we been gone"

"It's only been half an hour or so" He assured her, although it felt much longer to her.

She looked up at him, into his eyes, as she asked the questions she really wanted to know the answer to.

"Why did you notice I was gone? Why did you come back for me?"

He stared back at her as she held her breath.

"You're a little idiot Rory" Was all he said, but his eyes said more and she could see something in them and in him that she'd never seen before. Still gripping his shoulders she stood up on her tip toes and pressed her lips against his in a bruising kiss.

* * *

An outsider who cared enough to watch them would have thought the couple to be one those transiently beautiful sights you don't realise is magical until it's slipped from your grasp. Rory, bundled up in her light pink duffle coat, her dark hair whipping about her in the breeze. Tristan so tall and pale and Patrician. With theirs arms link and locked against the world. He would point something out to her and she would follow the line of vision, bursting into delighted giggles or a beatific smile.

But in the city, on the darkening streets when everybody was rushing to be somewhere else, there was nobody to see them and there, in the most crowded place in the world, their moments were their own.

* * *

Rory was still grinning, her bucket of coffee from Satrbucks that Tristan had bought her cooling in her hands as they approached the hotel.

Suddenly, a shadow fell across them and they looked up at one of their teachers.

"Mr. DuGrey, Miss Gilmore…follow me"

Rory gulped and Tristan smirked as they followed her to their punishment.

Later that night, on Louise's cell phone to her mother, she told Lorelai the evening had been entirely worth their punishment of having to remain on the bus with the driver while everybody else went shopping.

"Well," Lorelai said conspiratorially, "I'm sure you'll be able to think of something to do being stuck on a bus with Tristan DuGrey all morning"

Rory didn't reply, she just let the grin spread across her face.

**AN: As you've probably guessed I've been thinking of taking this one chapter in present time, one chapter in the past to show their relationship as it builds up _and_ breaks up.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I'm so pleased with all of my reviews and it's just spurring me on to write more, of course, the boring as hell job I have helps as well!!!**

**Disclaimer: I have no claim, whatsoever, to GG.**

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* * *

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_**Chapter 5.**_

Rory collapsed onto the bench in front of the café, next to Finn, who, she suspected, was asleep beneath his oversized ladies sunglasses.

"Did you get the paper in?" Logan asked her as he ran his finger through the frost on the beer glass.

"Mmmmm," Rory mumbled through her hands, "Three thousand words on the new media ownership laws being proposed in Australia and how it will affect the Murdoch empire"

"Pssh, Murdoch" Logan muttered derogatorily.

Rory smirked and waved over the waitress to order her meal.

"So," Logan began, leaning conspiratorially towards Rory. "We're thinking _Road Trip_!"

At this Finn seemed to wake up and he draped his arm around Rory.

"You, me and the king of sloths over there with a drop top and the open road"

"A road trip?" Rory asked.

The boys nodded.

"And where would be the destination of this said 'Road Trip'?" She asked, using finger quotes.

"Vegas, Cabo, Cape Cod…who cares?"

"I voted for Ibiza" Finn said petulantly.

Rory rolled her eyes.

"You can't drive to Ibiza Finn"

"Well not with an attitude like that," He grumbled, making Rory laugh as her coffee arrived.

She stirred some sugar into it thoughtfully.

"Sounds like a great idea, alas, I am going back to Hartford for the summer"

"Why?" Finn asked, as though she were made to even consider such a thing.

"I've been given a part-time freelancing job with the _Fifth Estate_ there" She said smugly.

The Fifth Estate was a small, independently owned but fiercely influential political magazine which had recently developed into an online blog that had hits through the roof each month. It had taken her weeks of being on hold and subtly throwing names about to get the job.

"Well done," Logan said, impressed but not surprised, "So it looks as though we're spending the summer in Hartford"

"Oh no, Run!" Finn quipped.

Later that afternoon Rory and Logan walked back towards the campus.

"You know you don't have to spend your summer in Hartford just because I'll be here," Rory told him, but her gave her a look that clearly said he did.

"We're not going to leave you alone all summer" He assured her.

"I wouldn't be alone, Louise is flying in tonight, I have to pick her up from the airport"

He nodded but she could tell there was more he wanted to say.

"Rory I know you've got this job and all, but is that the _real _reason you're staying here, or has it got something to do with the fact that Tristan's going to spending his summer here as well?"

Rory sighed, knowing Logan could see right through her. Sure the job was a bonus and great experience but…

"Of course it's got something to do with that," She replied finally, almost snappishly, "I need to see him, I need to talk to him. I mean, we were together for more than three years, I can't just lease it how we did."

Logan stopped walking and took her hand, bring her to a stop to face him.

"Rory, I know you guys were together for a long time, but every day of those three years should be negated by what he did"

Rory stared hard at the ground before meeting his eyes.

"That might be true Logan, but it's not the way this heart works"

_

* * *

_

Logan and Finn insisted on driving her to her grandparent's house seeing as though she'd left her car there when she had fled the party. She'd be spending a large portion of the summer at their house anyway, it was more convenient for work at the magazine.

They helped her with her bags and hugged before they left, promising they'd take her out for dinner the next night.

Emily greeted Rory with obvious delight and showed her up to her room, perching on the edge of her bed.

"I'm terribly sorry about the party last week Rory, that was just awful. And you'll be glad to know that Richard has told Janlan that Tristan is no longer welcome at any parties or gatherings that we're throwing"

"Ok Grandma, but you really didn't need to do that. I'm a big girl"

Emily nodded, laying her hand on Rory's shoulder with a strange warmth and empathy.

"I know you are, but he's a big boy and he should have known better"

Rory smiled at their reflection in the mirror on her vanity and noticed, not for the first time, how similar they were. There were the physical similarities, the roman nose they shared and the heavy eyes, but there was something else, there was that strength and the warmth that Emily may not show often, but was there and as strong as Rory's own.

"I'm picking up Louise from the airport this evening," She told Emily who smiled as she was leaving the room.

"That will be nice, it's always nice to have a good girlfriend"

Rory nodded, it was.

* * *

Rory stood at the domestic arrivals gate, searching the faces that came out. She was more anxious to see Louise than she had thought she was. It had only been two weeks, but they had been harrowing and she needed one of her best girlfriends there with her. Suddenly she caught sight of the blonde hair and signature oversized sunglasses. She shook her head, why Louise would need glasses at six o'clock in the evening, she would never know.

The pair hugged warmly and made their way to the baggage claim where Rory was mortified to see the amount of luggage Louise had brought with her.

"How did they even let you on the plane with this much?" She asked in wonder.

Louise grinned and pointed to something behind Rory who turned and saw the cute male flight attendant who waved at Louise. Louise waved back and sent him a wink.

Rory shook her head and just laughed.

* * *

"Let's go out" Louise suggested. "I feel as though I've become a tea-totaller the past couple of weeks. We'll put on cute tops and go to the new place my brother was telling me about, _Mojito's _I think was called.

"You can't go wrong with rum and sugar" Rory replied.

She knew that there was a good she'd see Tristan if they went out. Hartford wasn't as big as it seemed, particularly during summer when everybody came home. But she had made a decision after talking to Logan a couple of days beforehand, that she wasn't going to spend the summer moping or hiding out from him and his _indiscrepancies._

"That's the spirit" Louise laughed.

Mojito's was a new place in town. It seemed, to Rory, that they cropped up all the time. It was sleek inside with glass tables and aluminium chairs. She and Louise had been led to a bright booth and handed menus, and brought their complimentary first mojito.

"So have you heard from him?" Louise asked, toying with the straw in her drink.

They had taken the car back to Rory's grandparent's via Louise's house to drop off her stuff, and had gotten a taxi to the bar.

Rory stared down at her menu, pretending to be fascinated by the description of the deep-friend polenta chips served with sweet chilli sauce.

"Rory?" Louise asked.

Rory looked and smiled apologetically.

"No" She said with chagrin, "not a peep"

Louise nodded.

"Gutless" She muttered.

"Perhaps not…I…this sounds stupid, but I keep hearing my phone ring"

Louise raised her daintily plucked eyebrow.

"Like, in the morning, just as I'm waking up, or, one night I was sure I heard it ringing but it stopped just as I got through the door"

"Don't you have caller id?" Louise asked.

Rory shook her head, no.

"Jesus Gilmore, meet the 21st century" She said incredulously.

Rory shrugged and looked around the bar. She had been staring at the girl blankly for a few seconds, a million miles away in her thoughts, before she realised it was Serena. Her eyes widened and her face paled.

Louise followed her line of vision to Serena who was standing by the bar with a girlfriend. Louise had to hand it to Tristan, he could pick them. The girl was a knock out, especially in the lime green batwing top she was wearing over white pants, both shades contrasting perfectly with her skin the colour of café latte.

Almost as though she felt the eyes on her, Serena glanced over at them, catching Rory's gaze. Her face flushed instantly and she looked nervous, awkward, something Rory imagined wasn't a natural feeling for her.

"White pants are so 1982" Louise said viciously.

Rory finally tore her gaze away from her ex-boyfriend's plaything and looked back at Louise in surprise.

"I thought they were making a comeback"

Louise blushed, caught out in her vitriole.

"Well…maybe, but they _should _be relegated to the 80s"

Rory smiled wanly at her friends attempt as the waiter arrived to take their order.

* * *

"Do you want to leave?" Louise asked her seriously after the waiter had left. "We can cancel our orders, we'll go somewhere else"

Rory smiled graciously but shook her head.

"No, I'm not going hide away all summer, especially if _she's _going to be here with him, as it would appear"

Louise reached across the table and took Rory's hand.

"It's all work out you know"

"I know"

* * *

Rory could feel her all through the bar that night. She refused to look for her but she could feel Serena's presence like a heavy, living thing settling over her.

She stared at herself critically in the mirror of the bathroom. She looked wan, and pale. She _could _chalk that up to the hectic past couple of weeks at college, but she knew better. She hadn't been eating or sleeping normally since the break up and especially not since the party.

She looked awful, especially compared to…

She looked up when the door opened and shook her head slightly, smiling ironically when she saw it was Serena. Serena stopped short seeing her.

"Rory" She said simply, it wasn't a greeting, not a question, just a statement of who she found before her.

Rory attempted a half-hearted smile.

"Serena" She replied.

The girl shifted from foot to foot, her head cocked on one side.

"Well this is…strange" She said finally, her voice lilting with the accent Rory suspected was Cuban.

"Is it?" Rory asked, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of what she was really feeling.

Serena looked down at the ground and then back up.

"I wanted to…apologise, for what happened, at your grandparent's party I…didn't realise…"

_That you were fucking my boyfriend for a month before he finally dumped me? _

Rory wanted to finish for her, but she couldn't say the words.

"That's ok I…I probably over-reacted myself"

Rory was lying she knew that, if she had the party over again, if anything, she'd react even more, stomping on his foot and even spitting in his eye before making her unceremonious exit in the cab.

But she could see how awkward Serena felt, and could feel a sense of pity building up in her, until she got to those eyes. Serena had the blackest eyes she had ever seen and they flashed with something. Resisting the urge to lean closer, Rory realised what it was she could see in them, it was victory. All of this pussy-footing around and side-stepping of issues was an act, Serena _knew _exactly what she was doing.

"You know what Serena? Don't even worry about it, it's not as though I've lost sleep over it"

She pushed past the other girl, the humiliation of her lie written in the spreading blush as she hurried back to the table she shared with Louise.

"Let's get drunk," She suggested boldly, "let's get so drunk that it'll take me twenty minutes to climb up the stairs to my bedroom"

"Cheers to that" Louise replied, handing her another drink.

* * *

**AN: Please review and let me know what you think. Is Serena an evil bitch? Or is Rory imagining things because she's hurt?**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So another chapter. I've been so pleased with all of the reviews, you guys are great, and keep 'em coming ;-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GG**

* * *

**_Chapter 6._**

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**_ Flashback _**

Rory stared at her hands curled together in her lap as she sat in the bridge. She could feel Dean next to her, without having to look at him. She had been surprised to find him waiting for her on her mother's porch when she returned from her field trip to New York that evening. Then he had smiled at her and she found herself smiling back as he suggested going for a walk.

"And I know now," He was saying, and she turned to listen, "I know that I made the biggest mistake in letting you guy"

He reached over and took her hand gently in his, his earnest, dark eyes staring into her own.

"I don't want to lose you Rory…I…I want you back"

Rory had forgotten in the intervening weeks since their break up, how nice it was to be with someone like Dean, how uncomplicated and easy things had been with him before he had said those three big words. _I Love You._

She thought fleetingly of Tristan, of the look in his eyes when he'd told her he would always come looking for her, of the feel of her hand wrapped up in his as they strolled through darkening city streets. She shook her head slightly. She knew she would have to tell Dean about what had happened.

"Dean I…I have to tell you something"

He nodded warily, tightening his grip on her hand.

"I kissed somebody"

She felt him increase the pressure on her hand and winced at the pain. He realised and dropped her hand as though it had burnt him.

"I'm sorry" He mumbled, staring down at the water, "Who was it?" He asked, without looking up.

Rory dropped her own gaze, knowing this would hurt him. Dean had never liked Tristan, they rubbed each other the wrong way, they always had.

"Tristan"

Dean scoffed.

"The accountant"

Rory didn't say anything in Tristan's defence, there was nothing she could say.

"It was a thing, at a party. At Madeline's party, his girlfriend had just broken up with him, you'd just broken up with me and we were both hurting"

Dean shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to hear anymore.

"Was that it?" He asked.

"No it…he kissed me yesterday, last night"

Dean nodded.

"Do you have feelings for him?"

Rory shook her head vehemently.

"He's a friend we just got…carried away, we've both been upset"

Dean looked up at her finally and she saw the hope in his eyes.

"I love you Rory, and I don't care if you can't say it back yet…I want us to be together"

She smiled at him softly.

"I…I need to…" She trailed off, not knowing what she needed.

"If you want some time…" Dean suggested.

Rory nodded gently.

* * *

But back in her room the next morning her thoughts returned to Tristan, he had been so different in New York. She knew she couldn't trust one day out of hundreds that showed him in a different light, but she couldn't help it when she closed her eyes and thought about his lips crushed against hers, biting them softly.

He had smiled at her as she got off the bus in the Chilton carpark, and he'd told her he would call. She didn't worry about who he would get her number, he was Tristan DuGrey after all. She had smiled back at him and nodded, her hair whipping around her face.

She stared out her bedroom window, out to the grey day that had dawned that morning. She had told Dean she would meet him that night and tell him her decision. She took a deep breath. On one hand she knew Dean, and she was so fond of him, he was easy to be with and the perfect boyfriend. And on the other hand she didn't know Tristan, at least, that's what she was finding now. She had thought she'd known him as a tentative friend but now she was seeing something more. She had told him at the lake house that he wasn't the boyfriend type, but was she really the girlfriend type?

She stared at her phone, if he didn't call by that night, if he hadn't called by the time she left to meet Dean, she would know. She would know she was nothing more to him than another girl to push up against a bay of lockers, another girl to touch in places she hadn't known existed until he touched her there. She closed her eyes, feeling the heat rising in her, then she opened them. This was wrong, she shouldn't be thinking about him, she should be thinking about Dean.

* * *

Rory determinedly thrust her arms into a light jacket and paused before leaving her room to meet Dean. Scowling she turned on her heel.

"I'm going to meet Dean" She told her mother as Lorelai passed her in the hall.

Lorelai raised an eyebrow but didn't comment as Rory left her bedroom and her cell phone which was vibrating soundlessly in the crevice between her pillows.

* * *

"I want to try again too," She told Dean earnestly.

He eyed her warily.

"What about the accountant?"

_His name is Tristan._

"I thought I might have had feelings for him," She admitted truthfully, taking Deans hands in hers, "But he's proved to me that that's not the kind of guy I want, he proved to me that I'm nothing special to him"

Dean looked down at her.

"You're something special to me"

She grinned before standing up on her tip toes and leaning into a sweet kiss that had been a long time coming.

* * *

Rory practically skipped up the steps to Chilton the next day and made her way happily to her locker, not minding when people bumped into her or jostled her yellow back pack. Louise was waiting by her locker when Rory got there, brimming with stories about her weekend.

"And I went out with Tate" She told Rory excitedly, "You remember Tate?"

Rory nodded, she vaguely remembered one of Louise's henchmen who followed her around like a puppy and may have been Tate, or perhaps it was Jake, or Nate? She paused in confusion.

"Tall, senior at De La Salle, black hair with _amazing _grey eyes" Louise reminded her, leaning dreamily against the next locker.

"Got it" Rory said, still dreamy herself.

"We went to a party being thrown by his cousin and had the most _amazing _night" Louise went on.

Finally she paused her chatter, turning to stare at her friend. There was something different about Rory, as though a heaviness had been lifted from her. She seemed like a helium balloon struggling to get away that Louise had to catch hold of.

"What's up with you?" She asked.

Rory grinned to herself.

"What?" Louise repeated, getting giggly herself. "Does this have something to do with a certain boy?"

Rory glanced over at her, surprised and nodded mutely. Louise's grin grew wider and she nudged Rory who giggled like a, well, like a school girl.

"Well, spill" Louise encouraged her.

Rory slammed her locker shut and turned to face her friend.

"Dean and I are back together"

She waited for Louise's excited outburst but nothing was forthcoming, instead Louise was staring at a point behind Rory. Slowly, dreading what she would see she turned. Tristan stood a few feet from her his face crestfallen and in his hand a sup of coffee, steam drifting out of the sippy-lid.

"Tristan" She whispered.

His name coming from her ruby lips seemed to snap him out of his trance and within seconds he had recovered his mask of cold indifference that she had seen the night of Madeline's party when Summer broke up with him.

He handed her the cup of coffee.

"I know how much you love your coffee," He said simply, "It's a long black with a shot of hazelnut"

She took it silently as Louise looked on in horror. He began to walk off in the other direction but at the last moment turned.

"Congratulations on getting back together with Dean" He said quietly.

"Oh my God…Rory," Louise began but Rory silenced her with a look.

She picked up her books from the floor.

"I'm surprised he called Dean by his name, I was beginning to think he didn't know it" She said with a finality that let Louise know the matter was closed.

* * *

**AN: So there's a bit of history about teh struggles they've faced in the past. The next chappie is already underway and should be posted sometime very soon.**


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN: OK, so this chapter is set in present time. Thankyou so much for all of your reviews, they've been wonderfully buoyant for me!!!_**

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**_Disclaimer: I don't own GG_**

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**_Chapter 7._**

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**_Present time_**

"I don't feel like going to a party Logan"

Logan raised his eyebrow from his seat behind the wheel of his car.

"Since do _you _not feel like going to a party?"

Rory cross her arms in front of her chest and huffed.

"We both know _he'll _be there"

Logan nodded calmly.

"Yes, he will, and he'll probably bring Serena. But you said you weren't going to lose your dignity over it, and that you weren't going to become recluse this summer"

"I know what I said" Rory snapped.

She immediately regretted it, she knew Logan was trying to help, trying to buoy her up and help her get over him.

"I know what I said," She repeated, her voice softer this time, "but it's hard"

"Of course it's hard, but you've never been afraid of a challenge" He nudged her as they stopped at a red light and she glared at him. "Come on Ace, it's _my _party, we'll look after you, it'll be awesome"

Rory rolled her eyes, already knowing she'd be there.

* * *

That night Rory, clad in a pair of black skinny jeans and a white tank top with a sequined martini silhouette on it, was amused to see that Logan's idea of a "summer party" was hooking up a keg for everyone else while he got down to the business of playing poker.

She had perched herself, beer in hand, on the bench opposite where the boys were playing. People were starting to arrive, filtering in in cheerful dribs and drabs.

"Rory?"

She heard the incredulous voice behind her and turned, jumping off the bench. Her eyes widened as she recognised the tall brunette.

"Tudor! Oh my god!" She ran to him to hug him while Logan and Finn looked on in short-lived interest.

Rory hadn't seen Tudor since high school. He had taken a gap year and travelled around Europe and the last Rory heard he had been at St. Andrew's in Scotland. He still had the same warms eyes she'd liked in him in high school, and the same way of talking that drew you in to whatever story he was telling you.

"When did you get back?" She asked him as they got another drink and settled by the pool.

He leaned back in his chair, taking a swig of beer.

"I got into New York three days ago"

"How long is it since you've been home?" She asked.

He winced.

"Not long enough," He replied sardonically, "My brother got married and besides the fact that I missed the wedding because I was passed out on the beach in Ibiza with a stripper, mom now thinks it's time I settled down"

She laughed at the irreverent way he spoke. He was still handsome, perhaps moreso now. He'd lost the "pretty boy" looks he'd had at school and they'd been replaced by stronger features. His brown hair was cut in a way that it constantly feel in his eyes.

"So what about you Miss Gilmore? What's been going on?"

She shrugged, not knowing what to say.

"Well, I've only got one year to go on my degree. I'm in Hartford this summer because I'm working part time at the _Fifth Estate_."

"And Tris? What's he doing? Man I feel like I haven't spoken to any of these assholes in years"

Rory smirked at his ironic turn of phrase, before frowning.

"Tristan and I broke up"

He slowly lowered the beer bottle from his lips and Rory could see that he was uncomfortable.

"Oh…shit…I'm sorry"

She waved her hand at him to shut him up.

"It's fine, it was a while ago"

"A while ago?"

"Yeah a couple of months anyway"

"What happened?"

"Just wasn't working out I guess" She said quietly, taking a sip of her beer.

"Well I feel like an asshole now"

She laughed and slapped his arm.

"It's fine Tudor, I'm a big girl"

* * *

"Who's the guy you were talking to earlier?" Logan asked her later.

"By the pool?"

He nodded.

"That's Tudor Roth, I went to Chilton with him, he was Tristan's best friend in high school"

"Roth? That name sounds familiar"

"Mmmm?" Rory replied, only half listening, her attention had been caught by the couple coming through the door.

He looked cool and untouchably handsome, framed by the crowd in the doorway in dark dress pants and a white shirt. It seemed to Rory, as she stared at him and took him in, that the past few years had never happened. It seemed as though they had never known each other; never screamed and fought over some imagined insult, never spent a whole day hiding under the same blanket watching _Law and Order, _never spent the holidays with each other's families, never explored on another in their beds. Staring at him she was struck again by the feeling of him being vacant; even as he greeted people, and smiled, and touched Serena gently on her hip, he didn't seem as though he was really _there_. He seemed transient, ethereal, but then, Rory thought wryly, in many ways he was, at least, to her.

She watched Tudor approach him, and something old, something she recognised, sparked in his eyes as he greeted his old friend. She watched as Tudor was introduced to

She felt somebody arrive beside her and look up at Tudor. Smiling despite herself she watched as Tristan recognised his old friend and something from that time, something recognisable to Rory sparked in his eyes, and then she saw his eyes settle on her, and the spark died. Feeling a lump forming in her throat she shook her head and made her way to the kitchen.

She wondered, as she downed another martini, if he was that way with Serena. She wondered if Serena ever lay beside him at night but realised she was lying beside a shell. God she hoped that was true, mostly because the opposite was too difficult to bear, that he was with Serena because she had succeeded where Rory had failed, in bringing him back from wherever it was that he went.

She wasn't drunk when she approached him, but she wasn't far from it. Serena had left his side for the first time that evening.

"Hey"

He had seen her coming and hadn't run for the hills, which had to be a good sign.

"Hello Rory" He replied.

"Wasn't it good to see Tudor?" She asked.

He knew what she was trying to do, she knew what she was trying to do, but it didn't how much either of them pretended, things weren't normal between them.

"Rory don't do this, just leave it alone"

She narrowed her eyes.

"Leave what alone Tristan?"

"Us" He hissed, his eyes flashing a little, "I can't do it anymore"

Rory snorted.

"_You _can't do it anymore?"

Before she had a chance to say anything else, he had grasped her arm and was dragging her out of the party. He shook her a little on her feet as they came to a stop and she stared up at him. With the light behind his blonde hair, it looked as though he had a halo, 'some angel' she scoffed inwardly.

"What happened?" She asked incredulously,

"What do you want from me?" He asked forcedly.

"I want to know _why_!" She exclaimed, "I want to know why we broke up? Why you're with _Serena" _She spat her rival's name at him, "why you cheated on me after three years?"

Her voice rose as she continued, becoming almost hysterical towards the end.

"I didn't cheat" He replied, "I promise you I didn't cheat on you. I…I tried to tell you that night at your grandparent's house but you ran off too quickly.

_My heart was broken! _She wanted to scream.

"Too late Tristan, Serena's already told me how long you guys have been together"

He sighed and rubbed his eyes in weariness.

"We _met _three months ago, but I promise you Rory, nothing happened until after we broke up"

Looking into his pained eyes Rory believed him, but she couldn't forgive him. She shook her head slowly.

"Well at least now I know why we broke up. Tristan, it doesn't matter if you didn't do anything until we broke up, you still dumped me and jumped into her bed five minutes later"

He stared at her sadly.

"Rory…" He began softly.

She shook her head determinedly.

"No Tristan just…"

"I can't do this," He continued. "I can't be friends with you"

Rory stared at him in shocked fury. _He _couldn't be friends with her? As though _he _was the one who was hurting?

"I don't _want _to be _friends _with _you_!" She spat quietly but with obvious vitriol.

"So leave it Rory!" He cried, his voice anguished and wounded.

She shook her head at him, barely believing the way he was behaving.

"You know you're choosing a fine time to become self-destructive Tristan" She said sardonically.

"Well then why don't you run back to Huntzberger?" He retorted.

The loud slap of her hand across his cheek rang out in the quiet outside. She bit her lip, trying desperately to reclaim what little dignity she had left, but she had no control over the tear that started it's lonely descent down her face.

His face heavy and sad he reached out longingly to wipe the tear away but she pulled back as they he were about to slap her. Their eyes locked for only an instant, but it was all he needed to bring home to him once more how much he'd hurt her before she whipped around and ran back into the party.

* * *

**_AN: Hope you liked that Chapter. I know it may seem as though Rory is letting him walk all over her, and to some extent she is. I'm experimenting with the idea of Tristan using emotional blackmail on her a bit - like coming across as all pained and "I cant do this" so that she doesn't rail against him and scream. But please stick with it and wait it out and remember to R&R._**


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